The L Cyber Home

I am thinking hard on a decision to be made soon.  Something that I am not particularly psyched for but to get me out of here.  The only difficult thing is to leave my family and be so far away from it again.  I wish I had an easier decision to be made. 

See my blog post at http://mywishmywish.blogspot.com

I am thinking hard on a decision to be made soon.  Something that I am not particularly psyched for but to get me out of here.  The only difficult thing is to leave my family and be so far away from it again.  I wish I had an easier decision to be made. 

See my blog post at http://mywishmywish.blogspot.com

Best wishes for the holidays.

I am one the edge of exploding.  How do I get out of something that I am not into?  For instance, my job?  It gets worse each year and I can't find any purposes to stay.  So can I just quit and move to Canada for a job of some kind?  I don't think so.  First of all, I have a contract to keep and breaching it leads to a forfeit of three months' of salary.  Of course money means nothing when compared to my personal happiness.  But...Secondly, it kills me to not being able to be myself in this culture.  I can't even find someone at work whom I trust to confide in.  I don't have a support system at all at work.  Personal privacies are not respected here.  I've decided long ago to keep my mouth shut to swallow my own sorrow.  That sucks really.  And they move me around from one department to another and dump all this clerical work on me.  I have been there and done that and do not want to do it all over again at this point of my life.  But I can't tell them no and that is a big problem.  Well, job searching for an overseas job isn't easy.  It is possible to get something but not easy simply because of the physical distance from where I am.  Plus, I am a foreigner and it takes visas after visas that are difficult to obtain. 

Mostly, I feel like I have been in this cycle all throughout my life.  Moving around was a challenging experience with some sort of excitement but now I want to settled.  I am tired of moving.  Life is truly difficult.

Is there a way out?  Where is the light?  I wish I knew the answer and can take an action on it right now.

God, please help me.  I've given my shot to try out and I am just not happy.  Why can't I just be simply happy like some other people. 

I finally watched this movie which was released about four years ago.  It is about a man and a woman who lives next door to each other, but had not met until one day they both sat in a park and struck an conversation with each other.  It was then did they realize that they had met a long time ago, in a summer camp, while they were still kids.  They did not know each other's names.  All they had remembered were the school numbers on their uniforms. 

Just as they were ecstatic about running into each other and were ready to pick up where they had left, it started to rain and they had to part again.  The rain smudged the phone numbers they had left with each other, and there they were , losing the only way to get in touch again.

The story ended when an earthquake happened and the wall between their apartments collapsed to create a hole.  The two people finally got a chance to see how close they once were and were finally together.

It makes me think that sometimes we plan so hard for something to happen but it just won't, whereas some other things can just pop up to our surprise.  Sometimes things fall together in a weird way.  The way I came back home was certainly one of them.  Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off just letting go of most of my 'wants' and see how life would treat me.  Does life take care of itself or do I plan and work hard toward some goals.  There isn't an easy answer to that question, I guess.

And the lyrics of the soundtrack go like this.

I heard that the winter has gone, and all of a sudden I opened my eyes from the hibernation.

I have waited for so long for it to happen but it seems that I can't really plan for the future.

Perhaps someone is waiting for me in the near future, somewhere outside the bus, on a gloomy rainy day, in an unexpected evening, or, just somewhere.

I turn to my left, then to my right, and wonder how many turns it takes for love to get here;

I don't know whom I will meet, what we will say to each other, and how much longer it takes for me to run into this person.

Did I hear the wind whistling in the crowd, or is it in the subway?

Here I am holding a number to love.

I dream that I can fast forward the time to get there, but the entrance to it seems so narrow that I can't get in.

Perhaps you understand the hurt in me as you have gone through this before.

I want this puzzle to be solved and I dream of a beautifully unplanned glance of destiny.

孫燕姿-遇見

So a few months ago I was driving home from teaching a night class.  I was so hungry I could eat a cow.  Then I passed by this "handmade bao tsu store" which was not too far from my school.  So I stopped to get one with veggie filling and a cup of warm soy bean milk.  Then I was in shock to see the size of the bao tsu when I had a first bite.  It was as huge as a man's palm, and I didn't know if it was because I was in hunger or what, but it tasted so good.

I went back to the store and bought some more for my family.  I also tried their meat version.  It was as good as the vegetable ones.  The dough was nicely made too.   It only costs 15 NT. 

But the store opens from 8 p.m. to 11 a.m. and it is way out.  Therefore I have to always make plans to call ahead to order.  Oh, and their soy bean milk is vey good too.

Giant Bao Tsu

Believe or not, it has been over 35c everyday here since about a week ago.  I have been feeling sleepy all day long and didn't know why.  Well, someone told me that I might have gotten a heat stroke.  Since I don't have a garage, my car is constantly parked outside.  Getting into the car in the day time is like getting myself into an oven.  That might have caused it.  Or, perhaps the cycling room in the gym was just too cold to disturb my body's temperature adjustment system.  Who knows.

Tonight I decided to make a drink, lime juice with brown sugar, in the hope of relieving my symptom.  I was told again today that brown sugar helps wash out the toxins in our bodies.  The smell of lime made me feel better, but I think I would rather have honey with the juice.  Oh, well, I'll do anything for a cure.

Then, just as I was sitting down to enjoy the drink, an earthquake happened!  NOW!  AS I AM WRITING THIS!  The building is shaking and should I be scared?

Waiting to be squeezed

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Lime juice with brown sugar

If you read from the left, it says "my wife is afraid of me", but when you read from the right it becomes "I am afraid of my wife". 

Who is afraid?

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Lantern Festival

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This was taken back during the Chinese Lantern Festival:  in celebration of the last day of the Chinese New Year.  Dad and I went to this event in Chiayi and it was bumper to bumper driving there.  Unfortunately, I did not bring my camera with me so this was taken with my Nokia N-70 cell phone.  I wished I had recorded videos of the amazing firework.  They had spent so much money on the event just to have firework come up every 30 minutes for about a week.